‘Hello,’ I said, sounding agitated but there was no response at the other end.

‘Hello,’ and still no response.

Switching on the lamp I squinted at the clock and saw that it was four in the morning. Feeling extremely annoyed at this point I was about to hang up when I heard a voice coming through the phone: ‘Hello, Anna Marie, it’s been a long time.’

‘Who is this?’ I said indignantly.

‘It’s Frank.’

I let out a loud gasp, ‘Look is this some kind of a sick joke?’

‘I know it’s hard to believe and I’m so sorry for calling at this late hour,’ said the man in a deliberate yet urgent tone, ‘But this is an emergency. I can’t go into any explanations right now — there isn’t enough time for that. Please listen carefully, little bug, use the formula, F-A-P SIX, F-A-P SIX.’

A chill shot up my spine whilst listening to the man enunciate every letter clearly with special emphasis on the number “six”. I took in a deep breath, ‘Frank . . . is that really you?’ I could barely breathe from the shockwave. Then an automated voice chimed in informing the caller that there was one minute remaining.

‘Anna Marie, we’re running out of time. I know I don’t have any right to ask you to trust me, but I’m begging you to trust me just one more time — use the formula–F-A-P SIX! Please do it, little bug.’

I could hear traffic noise in the background. He must be calling from a phone box but from where? Saliva slipped through the corners of my mouth. A voice inside my head was telling me not to believe what I was hearing.

‘No way, my father is dead. Who the bloody hell is this?’

‘Little bug, it is me…you’ve got to believe me, this is a matter of life and death, please use the formula…F-A-P Six!’ Then the phone line went dead.

‘HELLO…HELLO!’

My hands were shaking. I felt like vomiting. For a second this seemed like one of those surreal experiences when you think you are dreaming that you’re awake. But this was no dream – I was awake. Sitting up with my back against the wall and the phone still in my hand I gazed at the pattern of Egyptian hieroglyphics stenciled around the borders of the bedroom ceiling. Being woken up at four in the morning was disturbing enough, but hearing the voice of my long, lost father was outright shocking. After all these years of not knowing whether he was dead or alive, I get a phone call from a man claiming to be Frank and who sounded barking mad. To make matters worse the only thing he had to say was “F-A-P Six” – not something like, “Hello Anna Marie, I know this might come as a shock, but I’m not dead. I’ve just been too preoccupied for the past two decades so I decided to give you a bell. And by the way, could you use the formula?” Then “puff” like a cloud of smoke he was gone again.

My mind was riddled with confusing thoughts and painful memories all at once. That man had to be Frank. No one else knew about the formula. And no one has ever called me “Little Bug” except for dad — of this I was certain. It was his silly pet name for me when I was a young girl.

‘Frank is alive,’ I whispered.

We had all presumed that my father, Franklin Patakis, died long ago, rotting away in some desolate, hostile land stricken down by some dreadful disease. Or perhaps even murdered by thugs. It all began in the early 1970’s when Dad had purchased a derelict warehouse in Whitechapel on the east side of London. Mum was the only one to have known about the purchase at the time. Several years later, he tendered his resignation as a Professor of Philosophy at Oxford University. After leaving his successful career at one of the world’s oldest educational institutions he then devoted all his free time in converting the warehouse into an antiquarian bookstore he called “Words of Yore”.

The store slowly flourished and Words of Yore had generated enough business (mostly through mail-order and word-of-mouth) to halfway support a wife and two growing adolescents. Most of our relatives and friends of the family had thought Dad’s quixotic behavior was due to a mid-life crisis. They had urged him to seek psychological help. Even his own parents were upset with him, especially after Mum had taken a position as a secretary in a law firm to help sustain our middle-class lifestyle. Then a few years later everything for the Patakis family started to go awry when Frank had become interested in collecting rare artifacts and ancient Egyptian texts. His avid enthusiasm for these antiquities would soon develop into an obsession. He would act strangely keeping odd hours at the warehouse, making impromptu trips to God knows where, and he had often changed the combinations to the vault room. And there were times when he was talking on the phone and would hang up quickly whenever I entered his office.

Then on March 18th, 1984 (a day that had been branded in my memory forever) when Mum, Christopher and I were sitting at the dinner table Frank announced to us that he was going away and he would be gone for no more than a year. He had a lead on something big in Egypt and needed to investigate it — he wanted our blessing to pursue this endeavour. Of course this news had knocked the breath out of me. I had asked him what it was that he was going in search of, and at the same time had tried like hell to mask my shock. The only reply he had given was, “it’s top secret — but suffice it to say we will become millionaires”.

‘Millionaires’ I had said, practically spitting out my food thinking that he was joking. I pleaded with him for more details. Even begged him to take me with him and used every wile a person of my age knew in order to persuade him to do so. But all he had said was that where he was going was not a place for young girls. But not to worry, he’d be back before Christmas.

I had thought for sure Dad had lost it big time, and that any day we would have to commit him. But eventually I would figure out that his sudden trip had to do with all the secretive phone conversations and clandestine meetings he had been involved with for those past several months. I had refused to believe that he would actually go ahead with this absurd idea of finding something “big” as he had deemed it. But when he did leave, I actually thought he would walk back through the front door and tell us that it was all just a big joke. But he didn’t. I can still remember counting the days marking them on the calendar till Christmas. And, when Christmas had come and gone he didn’t show up as promised. Nor did he come home the following Christmases.

(to be continued)

copyright by Adele L Nieto
April 2010

The newest addition to the Circle of Existence series entitled Ambient Bach (variations and inspirations on the music of JSBach) is indeed an inspirational work from the composer of Circle of Existence, Graeme Chaves. Being a great admirer and lover of JSB’s music, it is my opionion that Graeme Chaves showed respect and didn’t damage the integrity of the Maestro’s great works-of-art. If you are a real Bach purist you may not connect with these variations when you hear Ambient Bach. However, I think most people would thoroughly enjoy this unique interpretation of JSB’s music.

Every well-crafted track offers themes of Bach taken from Goldberg’s Variations, The Well-Tempered Clavier, the B-minor Mass to a Violin Sonata, to name a few. The end result is that Graeme Chaves kept the spirit of JSB alive in Ambient Bach.

Click this link for a free Ambient Bach MP3 download of the first track called Gold Sleep/BWV988 (from Goldberg’s Variations). In addition to a free track you can also read a brief biography of Johann Sebastian Bach on the Circle of Existence website.

Bangalorecares, a non-profit organization, is the Official Charity Partner and host of the Sunfeast Marathon event. They are inviting all non-government organizations (NGOs) that want to raise funds for their charitable causes through this event, to register with Bangalore Cares as soon as possible.

New Life is one of the NGO’s that is involved with the Marathon event. Their mission is to elevate women and their children, who are below the socio-economic standard of living, into the mainstream of modern-day society. Education is one of the areas that New Life has been focussing a lot of attention on. It is their belief that a proper education gives the children the building tools that are necessary for their own well-being and personal growth. The children, as well as women, can contribute to their communities and to society in general.

New Life In Action

In order to strengthen the academic performance of the children undergoing primary education, New Life has conceived a special system of identifying problematic areas of weaknesses in the educational methodology of Government run schools. Through rigorous coaching and tracking of improvement of performance (with UMECS Software), it has targeted 10,680 children that require remedial assistance (studying 1st std to 8th std) in the current academic year.

Therefore, New Life has partnered with Bangalorecares for “Sunfeast World 10K Bangalore 2009″ in order to generate awareness and funding for their Education assistance programs. By participating in the marathon through New Life, and by making donations in the name of New Life you will be supporting the noble causes they are championing.

For more details about New Life please visit their website at: www.newlifemfi.org/

Submit an entry or donation now at the Bangalorecares website: http://bangalorecares.in/ But remember to donate in the name of New Life. We only have until the end of May to generate as much enthusiasm and support for the Sunfeast 10k Marathon in Bangalore.

This past Thursday, a middle-age woman from Scotland, Ms. Susan Boyle, auditioned for the hit reality show Britain’s Got Talent, and blew the socks off the judges and everyone in the audience as well as all the viewers watching her performance. That same night, her performance was posted all over the web via You Tube et al. For the past few days, the world can’t get enough of Susan Boyle. The number of views of her audition on You Tube alone reaches into the millions and is steadily growing.

Why is this considered rude behavior? Well, I will tell you. From the moment she was interviewed by Ant and Dec to her walking on stage to audition for the show, she was set up as some kind of joke. But as she stood facing the judges she appeared to be completely unfazed by all the stares and snickers, and smirks from the bemused Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan as well as from some very rude spectators. The third judge, Amanda Holden, refrained from appearing rude and critical, as anyone should do. While Susan answered Simon’s questions she held her head high and projected a strength of character that few of us possess. Despite all the eyeball-rolling from Simon and Piers and from some of the bitchey looking females in the audience when she said that she wanted to be like Elaine Paige, she still remained in charge of the situtation. Ms. Boyle might have seemed like she didn’t have a clue as to what was going on, but nevertheless she maintained her integrity without having a bad attitude or cowering in embarassment. When she spoke, she spoke with certainty. And when she was given the cue to sing, she did so with an amazing grace. She sang as if her life depended on it. If she had a Sterling for every dumb-struck expression on the faces of the judges and the audience, she would have made a bucket of money that night.

As Susan’s performance unfolded she went on to woo and win over the judges and the spectators as well as the millions of viewers who watched her sing, I Dreamed A Dream from the hit musical, Les Miserables. I might add, she is still winning over hearts from all those who watch the many videos of her performance posted on the web.

Why are we so stunned or surprised when someone who looks like Susan Boyle and who is talented like she is, can actually deliver the goods? Why are we so utterly amazed or a better word “shocked” that someone like Susan has the audacity to prove us all wrong for being so judgemental?

Granted, Susan isn’t elegant like a swan. Nor is she physically endowed like a Playboy Centerfold. She certainly isn’t tall like an Amazonian, catwalk model. And, she isn’t a clone of some doe-eyed looking Revlon or Estee Lauder face. But neither am I, and most likely neither are you. She lives alone with her devoted cat called Pebbles and had recently lived with her mother until mum passed away. So what if she’s never been kissed before? Maybe she’ll finally pucker up for the right person. Who cares? The most important thing to remember is how comfortable she comes across to viewers. She fits very well in her own skin AND that is truly what beauty is all about. Being able to sing like an angel is part of the joy of just being yourself. So let’s stop being rude and pre-judgemental of someone who doesn’t fit the perceived norm of what society has labeled as “beautiful”, which in truth, is only skin deep.

I can only hope that Susan goes on to live out her dream of performing as a singer. I will be one of her fans for sure!

I can recall when our taxi driver turned the car down the drive-way to the Nirarta Center how my eyes widened in amazement when I saw an enormous statue of Ganesh, the Hindu deity, placed firmly at the entrance ready to greet all who had arrived. Ganesh is one of my favorite deities not only because he is widely revered as the Remover of Obstacles but he is a man with an elephant’s head, and I love elephants. My first thought when I saw that beautiful statue was that I’ve entered the magic kingdom.

The Nirarta Center is built on a ridge that overlooks a long, winding river and is surrounded by lush-green, tropical plants, exotic flowers and terraced rice fields. There are six traditionally built bungalows that can accommodate up to 22 guests. Each bungalow has upstairs and downstairs and each offers a stunning view of the tropical landscape. In the backdrop of Nirarta, on a very clear day, you can see the peak of Mt. Gunung Agung, one of Bali’s most sacred volcanoes. Because Nirarta Center is situated higher up on the island the weather is cooler with gentle breezes and soft cumulus clouds that bring the tropical rains.

Nearby is the village of Sidemen that is within easy distance to some of Bali’s well-known attractions such as, Besakih Temple, the summit climb up Gunung Agung, Tenganan and other local villages known for creating traditional painting and weaving artistry. All of these are easy day trips and can be organized through one of the staff members at Nirarta. I went a little mad looking at all the beautiful handwoven silk and cotton cloths, jewelry, carvings and paintings that if I could have, I would have bought most everything in sight. And bargaining with the Warung keepers (shop-keepers), who enjoy the art of negotiating as much as the tourists do, was also part of the wonderful Bali experience.

The group organizer of the Wellness Retreat program facilitated a solid routine of early morning breathing and stretching exercises in the Great Hall plus mid-morning and afternoon Silat Kung Fu training, as well as some evening classes for advanced students. Breakfast was served at 7:30AM. It was either ala carte or buffet meals of traditional Balinese recipes prepared with Nirarta’s organically grown vegetables and fruit. After consuming a sumptuous and healthy breakfast each participant would venture out of the centre to go exploring nearby villages or sit down at the riverbank and enjoy a cool dip in the fresh clear water until the mid-morning workout session began.

After another good sweat from a vigorous workout we would return to our rooms, shower and rest a bit. At 12:15PM we would meet at the dining area for a luncheon feast of some more traditional Balinese food. Come early afternoon or late evening I would give a therapeutic massage to one of the attendees in a cute little hut situated on the ridge above the river. The sound of the cascading stream was better than listening to mood music and would literally lull the person into quick relaxation mode.

Part of the Wellness Retreat wasn’t only about having a great workout or receiving bodywork, we were also there to experience the Balinese way of life by participating in some of their traditional customs and rituals. On the first night we were entertained by a group of male Gamelan musicians and a traditional Legong dance performed by the nearby village girls and boys.

One day we were taken on an adventurous trek to a mountain temple where we would have to climb not only a mountain but ascend at least 1000 steps (or so it seemed) to reach the famous temple. What the Balinese call a gentle hike and was only supposed to take a half day to climb up and back, us westerners would call a “black-diamond ski run” which took most of the day to climb up and back. Yet that adventure was one of the most memorable and invigorating experiences of my time.

Our guides from the Nirarta center prepared a moveable feast so we could have lunch in the atmosphere of the mountain temple.

For each ceremony we attended or each temple we would visit we would have to wear the traditional attire of a kamben, a cloth (usually batik) wrapped around the waist (wrapped and tied differently by men and women). Women would have to wrap a sash tied around the waist, and the men would have to wear a headdress called an udeng. The Balinese follow the Hindu dharma path and on one of their religious holidays we were taken to the sacred temple on Mt. Agung to attend a ceremony. A heavy mist shrouded the peak of the temple giving it a mystical quality as worshippers ascended the ancient steps leading to the area of the main shrine. Once we were inside we found a place to sit on the ground and followed the example of our guide on what to do during the ritual. The atmosphere was super-charged with a feeling of love and great devotion. Throughout the entire temple the sweet fragrance of incense permeating the air induced me into a sublime state of mind. After the priest bestowed his blessings, we rose and went into another area of the temple and everywhere I looked there were dozens upon dozens of hand-woven baskets decorated with colorful flowers and filled with various food offerings. There was no shortage of those colorful displays which added to the ethereal atmosphere. The sacredness of participating in such an ancient ritual and receiving the blessing from the priest was truly an honor and an unforgettable experience I will always treasure.

Sunsets are especially grand in Bali as it occurs every evening around 5:30PM. Dinner time was an absolute delight and we all looked forward to this convivial atmosphere of great cuisine, affable conversations, and comfortable weather. But most importantly, each participant was precious and significant to the success of the Retreat as was the amazing generosity of the entire Nirarta staff. On our last night we engaged in a huge celebration with a delectable feast, dancing and being entertained by the staff members playing their traditional musical instruments.

Peter Wrycza, the owner and proprietor of Nirarta, is an affable English gentleman who along with his Balinese wife, Dayu, took exceptionally good care of us. Peter’s broad vision in creating an atmosphere of incredible beauty is further enhanced by his expertise in guiding people on a path of harmony and well-being.

My memories of Bali and Nirarta are indelible to say the least. If there isn’t a retreat taking place in Bali that you can join, then take some time for yourself to be by yourself in the magical paradise of Nirarta where Peter and his staff will look after you. Once you are there you can attend the twice-daily meditation practice that takes place in the meditation hall or have a private consultation with Peter who offers re-patterning or transformational coaching. For more information about Nirarta for Living Awareness visit their website at: www.awareness-bali.com

There is much to do in Bali or you can simply do nothing and just be present and alive in each moment in paradise. But this much I do know, be prepared to extend your Bali sojourn.

I will be back!

Some say that God will finish a great deliverance or judgment with three major elements: An earthquake, dark sun or blood moon and falling stars. At the end He comes to execute judgment and deliver righteousness.

According to Gustavus Hindman Miller who has written Dream Dictionary Moon, to see a blood red moon, indicates war and strife ” . . . and she will see her lover march away in defence of his country”.

Astronomers and scientists say that the moon appears red because light scattering through the Earth’s atmosphere is reduced to predominantly-red wavelengths, which reflect off the lunar surface.

But on thie morning of August 28th, 2007, a blood moon eclipse has taken place. So what happens when the blood moon is seen? Will the revelation of Luke 21: 11, 25-26 come true? Is this another prophetic sign that the end of the age is near? Or is this blood moon eclipse another cosmic phenomenon?

Whatever the case, don’t waste time brooding about “the end” or waiting for the Second Coming, instead, spend time probing within yourself for a better understanding of your own nature.

Relish the moon’s energy!

Seeker: Guriji, What is the secret of life?

GW: Secret. What secret? You’re here, aren’t you? Why it tis secret? I can see you . . . you can see me? What more do you want to know — seeing is believing, isn’t it? We call things that we don’t know about a “secret” but I tell you, there is no secret. You know everything there is to know for where you are in this life. What you are not knowing about is how to be using your own knowledge. You are always wanting someone to be telling you how to live. I say “phooey”! You are knowing how to live. You wake up in the morning, you use the toilet, you eat breakfast, you are going to work, or you are doing whatever you normally do. What tis the secret there, hmm? Why making such big deal about “secret”? I know as much as you know about life?

You are thinking that if I am giving you a mantra to say over and over, something magical will happen and you’ll have everything you want, hmm? I say that you will get a headache repeating over and over the same thing. Mantra is good for people who have monkey minds. All it does is keep you from thinking too much.

Better to be asking yourself “are you happy in this moment”? If answer is yes, then what more to ask for. If answer is no, then ask same question again in 5 minutes. Keep asking until you answer “yes”.

Seeker: Guriji, What is the purpose of this life?

GW: Oh sure, you are wanting me to tell you what to do so you can live a better life. Isn’t it better if you figure that one out for yourself? For I will tell you this, get rid of ego. That tis the only thing keeping you from living a better life. You are too attached to your physical identity. Ego is like wearing raggedy, smelling clothes, stinking up the joint. Why put so much importance on your measly, little, itty-bitty, temporary existence as Jane, Joe, Bob, Carol etcetera, etcetera? Be natural. Stop pretending. Stop pretending that you don’t know what the purpose of life is.

You see someone old falling down on the sidewalk. You walk over to help this person get up. No one is telling you to do that, you just do it, that is your purpose in that moment. Someone you know is ill so you call on the phone or are visiting with that friend to cheer him or her up. That is a natural purpose, isn’t it. Your boyfriend, or husband is cheating on you, you are feeling pain in your heart, but your heart is still beating, and it will go on beating afterwards. Yet your instinct is to be hitting him over the head with a frying pan, that is ego reaction, and not a wise thing to do. Better to go to the pet store and buy a cat or a puppy and take care of them, that is a purpose, and they will not cheat on you.

Seeker: Guruji, I’ve been seeking for freedom and I can’t seem to find it. Is it because I would have to give up my career to seek freedom whole-heartedly?

GW: Freedom, what is this nonsense? You don’t look like you are bound and tied to me. What freedom you are talking about? Freedom from stiff back? Freedom from crying children? Freedom from worry? What is this freedom you refer to?

Seeker: You know, the kind of freedom that makes you impervious to the suffering and anguish that is going on in the world.

GW: Ohhhh, I seeee. You are wanting to have this freedom so you can be living your life the way you are wanting to without incurring any pain or suffering, hmm?

Seeker: Yes, that is what I’m asking about.

GW: Where are you from, may I ask and what are you doing for a living?

Seeker: Yes, I live in Los Angeles. I’m an actress.

GW: I am liking James Bond movies. He never gets shot, can fall from a plane and not get killed, and is always saving the world from the evil doers. Have you been in any movies?

Seeker: I’ve starred in two pilot movies, but the networks didn’t pick them up. I have just completed the lead female role in an independent movie. I play a rich, cracked-out addict that cannot come to terms with life, because life is too painful for her, so she spends all her inheritance on drugs and parties.

GW: That is the most curious thing about movies, isn’t it, they make movies about things that humans already do in life. Why do people want to be seeing movies about what is already happening all around us? Go to see a Bollywood movie. Most colourful and always they are singing.

I will say this much, you are starring in the biggest role of your life, right now, right here. You are producer, director, actor, etcetera, etcetera. You should all get academy awards for playing in this big movie, hmm! See, this movie is what is preventing you from having freedom or moksha. Stop identifying with this movie . . . and get to know who you are. Just like when you finish filming, you will go home and you are still Jane or John. Who you really are doesn’t change, hmm! So it tis with this movie we call “life”. Once you see it is only another role, you will play along with it knowing that who you truly are does not change, hmm.

If you are wanting to know that when you achieve moksha, liberation, that you will not suffer or feel any pain — the answer is no. There is nothing to be achieving that will prevent you from feeling pain physically and mentally. Suffering from physical pain cannot be avoided sometimes. If you break your leg, it will mend. If you contract a disease you can seek a cure. Mental suffering is different. It tis a changing of attitude, hmm! If you lose a loved-one you will grieve, but the suffering will be in your mind. The time for not suffering is all up to you. You give suffering a time limit. Nobody but you can end it.

Ask Guru Whatanuttananda any question and he will answer it!

Guru Whattanuttananda copyright by Adele Nieto 2007

The Tao that can be trodden is not the
enduring and unchanging Tao. The name
that can be named is not the enduring
and unchanging name.

(Conceived of as) having no name, it
is the Originator of heaven and earth;
(conceived of as) having a name, it is
the Mother of all things.

Always without desire we must be found,
If its deep mystery we would sound;
But if desire always within us be,
Its outer fringe is all that we shall see.

Under these two aspects, it is really the
same; but as development takes place, it
receives the different names. Together we
call them the Mystery. Where the Mystery
is the deepest is the gate of all that
is subtle and wonderful. ]]> http://www.gram-of-truth.com/spirituality/the-great-way-one/feed/ 0